Gaming for whole weekend

These few days been trying hard to get over things. Well, all i can do is dive into my online game GTH. Play n sleep play n sleep. Time pass very fast, yes very fast and i was feeling better as my charc goes lvling up every few hours. But the worst part is my sleeping time, i keep dreaming about her. Oh wat the shit, i been trying hard to get things over n yet i keep dreaming about her. Guess "Zhou Gong" is making fun of me, but stop its aint fun at all. Now i keep telling myself to sleep less n play more. To avoid her appearing more in my dream, i sleep 2 hrs n wake up, but it doesnt work at all!!! So i guess today i will juz play until im dead n let myself auto fall back to sleep.
One more thing i m curious about, how is she doing?? But i guess only one answer will be confirm. Is having fun and more fun, Since she finds me a bother to be her bf. Now im gone so i guess she will have even more havok n fun in her life. Going clubbing every moment she can dig out?? Well, i wanted to drop all thoes thinking but.....can u when u had a relationship that is so deep n true for a yr plus?? M i being a fool all along?? All the things i wanted didnt turn out in the end. On the other hand all she cares was having fun n clubbing. Does she really put in to the relationship??? Wat is really going on after the cool down, we r together almost everyday. Things r getting better n sweeter. She stil meet me as usual do things that we usually do. Everything seems to become normal again. But... one day her mother juz bombed me asking for her to go home, her mum used nasty words on me til i really have to go hiding. Everything Goes weird after that. She goes home after work if not she will jus stick at home not going anywhere. Til wed......She juz start a quarrel out of nowhere n asked me not to go mambo. That time i really wanted to go but she dun seems understandig enough. I woke up in the morning n told her i m waiting till night time to go mambo with her. But all she was thinking is becuz i wan to supervise on her n making her life miserable. Wat i told her in the morning she all forgotton?? What i planned for whole day juz go into drain by her thinkig n principle. She only think about the bad of me but never ever consider about the good of me. Well mayb i did not have any good. Dont wan me to go can say juz like she taught me using the soft approach, but she never, She juz fuked me up like that. Wed night is spoiled is a small thing to me, but the r/s is over is really a matter to me. Since things already became so bad i might as well make it worst. I wanted to end it forever so i became a bastard in her life, she said knowing me is the worst thing in my life. I was so glad i m finally a bastard in her life, that she will forever rem me a an enemy. I'm sure wthin days she will forget me n i will get over it soon. This is the way i wan..since she doesnt this r/s anymore, i will juz make it worst n disappear at instant. rather than dragging n dragging like before. Without dragging i think its better for both of us n better for her. I had fulfilled her last wish n frm now onwards we got nothing to do with each other anymore. U can do watever u wan, no one will control u. You r free to do anythg at anytime. But one thing i cant fulfilled guess let other guy do it then. She asked if someday anything really happen to her n her mum will i be there for her. I said i will.... but i broke the promise. but dun worry i will not break anymore promise as we had no more promises now n in the future.
Im suffering every sec...esp when i m asleep. No one is at my side helping me out. Wat m i gonna do to pass this miserable time of mine. I really wanted to get up on my feet again. Starting a new n peaceful life but question is When??????