Been busy this 2 days so yest didnt blog. Yest did i blog or did i not??? I dun know also but never mind. Hope this entry can cover up the lost parts. Was going with shirely these 2 days, dun knw why but then feeling comfortable to have such a good listening ear, compared to thoes HYPOCRITES. (u guys will knw y i said that later) Sunday was so tired for me. Reached home but couldnt sleep. Took a 3 hrs nap n i went down to jurong to meet shirely for lunch. After lunch i was soooooo tired so i requested to go over to her place to rest. Was watching tv until i really dosed off. Geezzz, luckily it was only a nap. If not sure sleep until tmr morning. LoL.... I was like a pig that day. After woke up we went for dinner, then ktv again!!! Again i spend alot of $$ on it juz like sat. Including beers n all these really burned my pocket. After ktv i was kinda in good mood so i suggested another drinking session to shirley. Without any thinking she juz onZ me. LoL~~ But then she doesnt wanna stay outside n blah blah blah.
Alrite, we bought beer frm nearby 7-11. Nearby??? is walking distance of 20mins near??? Hahaha.... Then we took a cab n reached my place in no time. Once she reaches my place she asked me to dig out all my vcds. Wanna have a marathon...omg......juz nice next day she doesnt have lessons. One more thing is thoes r which i watched before..... But for the sake of beer close one eye lo. Time pass very fast n its was around morning. I was struggling on watching the show while i discovered that she already dosed off. Very glad n thanks that she will spare so much time to company me. Knowing that she likes to eat Mac breakfast, i went down alone to get it for her. Was a long walk frm my hse to mac but then it a way of saying thanks to her. Woke her up n she was kinda surprised n happy....if only everyone in this world is so easily satisfied. Soon after breakfast of cuz is sleep. Have to admit that i was really tired. Woke up at early evening, had dinner at causeway point and send her back. On her way back we r having cans of beer again. Hahaha....2 ppl who is so addicted to beer. Rushed home immediately cuz got some special feelings.....wanting to sleep again!!!
This is how i spend my sunday n i can say boring but was really satisfied. Another is about my dear mambo friends........Found out that some had been treating me like a good frd, but on the other side, i was a piece of cow dung to them. I m damn pissed off now, i know wat i said will provoke many of them. well....WATEVA!!! U guys wanna come bash me up on wed or wat i dun care. Going out with each other dun wan me to tag along? SAY LA... need to hide from me meh? PCB all hiding me like hiding ghost. M i really so disgusted n look like ghost? DEN dun come calling me bro or sis when i m around ok!!!!! I been thru alot in my life. I got rejected by frds too, so i knw wat is going on. I know im a hard to get along guy. I knw i alwiz make pple feel that im not a gud person. Wat i really wan is at least ur truthful reaction to me rather than acting infront of me. From now on, Zhikai is alone! Mambo alone Dbl O alone. When sad or happy who to share with???? ME MYSELF N I
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
Sunday, August 14, 2005
Realxing Night
Phew...finally got home at 745am. Check everyones blog n found out that they r doing this personality test. So i copycat-ed too. Do the test n post it on the blog. Guess its not 100% true also. SO this test SUX!!! sorry to the one who created this test. LoL
Was planned to meet roger but then xuan finally called n said was going to mmet up with someone n juz have supper then go home. Sista...i know u too well mon. I can tell if u r lying to me or not. So...i decide to give up asking her out. Left home very late but heng roger seems ok. haha......Was at buger king cuz i haven eat for the whole day... then found out he forgot to bring his bottle card. So now question is Dbl o or Devilsbar? Yii decided to call xuan i my answer is no point trying. The result is wat i expected. Hahaha.......Decided to go to yii's frend birthday. Was at somerset met nearby...a ktv pub. Once i reached there i was like OMG so damn packed!! But for the sake of free drinks, close one eye la~~~~ 3 bottles of martel for less dan 10 person to finish it....Before everything ends all of us were almost dead-ed. LoL....esp the bday boy damn poor thing. 7 ppl keep jio him drink. Was singing with them all along n think my throat cannot make it ler. Mini Ktv session after a 6 hrs session....Didnt know them at all but were so friendly to ppl. Then got a ger i think is working at that pub, were asked to drink with bday boy. She was drunk i confirmed. First she was standing infront of me but awhile later we r body to body contact....Wooooo! Had a great time but suddenly Roger n Yii had a little commotion. Having headache cuz needa run around while one is at upstair n the other is down. Thx for the excercise!!! But everything was fine after awhile. Really happen to see them back to normal.
3.45am.... time is stil early....decided to go devilsbar n chill out. Reachd there n paid a person entrance cuz yii got member.... Took a very long time to get a seat cuz very packed still. Was watching alot of 'oily' char boh dancing.....nearly vomitted....hahaha too oily le la!!! Then got this sexy char boh gone up the plat. Her skirt was so short til once she got up the plat everyone can see her undies. Wats more is she juz back face us, bend down and keep rocking her butt. So wat we saw is juz her butt n underwear shaking! Everyone guys around was going crazy, i was enjoying the scene too. 6am came n we went off. Happen to saw kes's fren arthur, tok abit n we went off. Went to mac n had our student meals! LoL so lucky~~~ Then we took a mrt n went home. Next wed we planned to go Devils to drink again cuz roger wanna open a bottle. So no need to say la. Drink liao go MAMBO!
Reached home n took a lazy shower. Suddenly my phone rang....picked it up and heard something very horrible. Never hear hello but only the word 'breakfast?'.... Kaozzzzzz juz reached home nia got jio breakfast liao. Told shirley that i cant make it now so mayb lunch or dinner.
Ppl who r reading my blog. If u all got programs at night pls gimme a call k??? Can jio me out. Dun wanna spend my sunday at home. Its kinda boring.
Been thinking alot during my way back home n i decided to change myself. Change myself into a whole new person. Am i going to turn nasty? or m i gonna turn better? I shall not disclose it. U guys have eyes u all shall see for urself n tell me.
Was planned to meet roger but then xuan finally called n said was going to mmet up with someone n juz have supper then go home. Sista...i know u too well mon. I can tell if u r lying to me or not. So...i decide to give up asking her out. Left home very late but heng roger seems ok. haha......Was at buger king cuz i haven eat for the whole day... then found out he forgot to bring his bottle card. So now question is Dbl o or Devilsbar? Yii decided to call xuan i my answer is no point trying. The result is wat i expected. Hahaha.......Decided to go to yii's frend birthday. Was at somerset met nearby...a ktv pub. Once i reached there i was like OMG so damn packed!! But for the sake of free drinks, close one eye la~~~~ 3 bottles of martel for less dan 10 person to finish it....Before everything ends all of us were almost dead-ed. LoL....esp the bday boy damn poor thing. 7 ppl keep jio him drink. Was singing with them all along n think my throat cannot make it ler. Mini Ktv session after a 6 hrs session....Didnt know them at all but were so friendly to ppl. Then got a ger i think is working at that pub, were asked to drink with bday boy. She was drunk i confirmed. First she was standing infront of me but awhile later we r body to body contact....Wooooo! Had a great time but suddenly Roger n Yii had a little commotion. Having headache cuz needa run around while one is at upstair n the other is down. Thx for the excercise!!! But everything was fine after awhile. Really happen to see them back to normal.
3.45am.... time is stil early....decided to go devilsbar n chill out. Reachd there n paid a person entrance cuz yii got member.... Took a very long time to get a seat cuz very packed still. Was watching alot of 'oily' char boh dancing.....nearly vomitted....hahaha too oily le la!!! Then got this sexy char boh gone up the plat. Her skirt was so short til once she got up the plat everyone can see her undies. Wats more is she juz back face us, bend down and keep rocking her butt. So wat we saw is juz her butt n underwear shaking! Everyone guys around was going crazy, i was enjoying the scene too. 6am came n we went off. Happen to saw kes's fren arthur, tok abit n we went off. Went to mac n had our student meals! LoL so lucky~~~ Then we took a mrt n went home. Next wed we planned to go Devils to drink again cuz roger wanna open a bottle. So no need to say la. Drink liao go MAMBO!
Reached home n took a lazy shower. Suddenly my phone rang....picked it up and heard something very horrible. Never hear hello but only the word 'breakfast?'.... Kaozzzzzz juz reached home nia got jio breakfast liao. Told shirley that i cant make it now so mayb lunch or dinner.
Ppl who r reading my blog. If u all got programs at night pls gimme a call k??? Can jio me out. Dun wanna spend my sunday at home. Its kinda boring.
Been thinking alot during my way back home n i decided to change myself. Change myself into a whole new person. Am i going to turn nasty? or m i gonna turn better? I shall not disclose it. U guys have eyes u all shall see for urself n tell me.
This is ME!!!
Your view on yourself:You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You are a true romantic. When you are in love, you will do anything and everything to keep your love true.
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person.
The seriousness of your love:You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.
Your views on education:Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.
The right job for you:You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.
How do you view success:You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of:You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.
Who is your true self:You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
Saturday, August 13, 2005
Weird Feeling
Yest was a very normal day for me. Whole day at home doing my assginments. Whole mind was blank but assignments. Glad to be like that but how long its gonna last me? Then something happened on evening, will not say it out here. Whoever wanna know juz call me n find out lo. Somehow that incident makes my mood feel better. Is it really getting better or is it the peace before the storm??? Wun wan to imagine or think about it. Around 11 i went to 7-11 to get my daily dosage of beer. Been drinking everyday without fail and beer had replaced my meals slowly. All i ate was nothing but a can of beer, sound kinda pathetic right??? Once i reached home i checked my mails n after sleep. Beer really makes u sleep better. I had a good sleep n wake up around 7. At that point of time my feeling is lighter n very calm. Dun knw why or what....i juz felt alot better. Is it that i really think throu or m i too persistant till im totally numb?? Whole day was playing game until someone called me for ktv session. Went to causeway point to have lunchie with her. So glad that she came all the way down..... so lunch is on me. Singing non stop for 6 hr n we r like no voice anymore. Haha.....Then we sat around Mac to had our dinner n having some talk. She happen to explain alot of things to her n what had happened to her in the past. By that time i was thinking alot n i think i'm able to find a road to myself. An answer to what i have to do......for more details....call me lo. LoL....Reached home at 8 and was looking for kahkis to go chiong. Dun knw wat the fuk happened also.... Xuan n danny didnt picked up my call.Maybe there r together with someone n dun wan me to know so they aviod me. If that really happened i would feel very disappointed. Disappointed not as in they didnt ask me to go out. Disappointed as in why r they avioding frm me. Go out with her can juz tell me, i already said i dun mind n i will understand. I wanna change but seems like no one ard me is letting me try or have the chance. Manage to find roger n they r asking me if wanna go Dbl O. I wanted to save $$ cuz juz now spent quite some amount on Ktv. So next destination is Devilsbar. I juz wanna get out of my hse n be outside so i dun really care where im going or wat i will be doing. Really glad i found someone to go out with. One last thing i wanna say is thanks thoes who had been encouraging me. No matter what u guys had said......i really appreciate it alot. From taggy on my blog or phone calls and even face to face.....i m really glad to have u guys. THANKS~!~!~!~!~
Friday, August 12, 2005
Man with SINS
I m very feeling terrible now. I m feeling very guilty and i m been blaming myself every sec i could spare. wish i could die or at least someone punish me. I made a terrbile sin in my life n i couldnt forgive myself forever for what i had done to a ger that once loved most. A sweet, cute n innocent girl in the past changed to now what she is.....is all my fault!!!
Talk to her on MsN for an hour plus. I was really surprised that she will talk to me. Found out that she really changed, she start to have flings and see relationship as hopeless. She dun trust herself n relationship at all. She doesnt wan to commit n wan to have fun with guys around her. She would rather play around with guys than having a decent boyfriend. After hearing all these i was crying....once again i cried n i felt very guilty. I would never imagined that she has become like that. The girl i once knew had turned into a totally different person. One who treasure relationship alot n now playing around with guys. My heart break n was bleeding non-stop. I cant stop blaming myself. If it were for me i dun think she will changed. I met her n have a relationship with her, I broke her heart n end up now she is like that.
How i wished we never knew. How i wish we nv fell in love n how i wish i never broke her heart. If all doesnt happen in the past. Maybe now she will be having a decent relationship with another guy. Why does things had to be in this way. Hurting her own body is not loving herself. How i wished she could love herself again. Even end of the day her guy is not me. I would rather see her having a normal relationship than having many flings.
She asked me not to wait anymore if i continue waiting she will do more extreme stuff. Even its infront of me, she will do it infront of me to make me give her up. All i can say is she dun really know how i feel for her. My heart is still having the love for her thou my brain is numb. I already dun mind who is she with or how many guys she is having. All i know is i wan to wait for her. I told myself that even i had to fall again, i will still stand up n continue with my stubborn decision. I guess no one is able to stop me, my mind is clear n set. How long i wil have to wait? Will the day really come?? Will miracle really appear?? I do not know, all i can do is wait n wait. No matter wat she do or wat nasty things happen infront of me, i will stil love her with all my true feelings. Thou all the nasty things she said to me, no matter how much im hurt no matter how many tears i shed. I will stil wait for her. I mean it n i will.........
*going to interview with tears still in my eyes*
Talk to her on MsN for an hour plus. I was really surprised that she will talk to me. Found out that she really changed, she start to have flings and see relationship as hopeless. She dun trust herself n relationship at all. She doesnt wan to commit n wan to have fun with guys around her. She would rather play around with guys than having a decent boyfriend. After hearing all these i was crying....once again i cried n i felt very guilty. I would never imagined that she has become like that. The girl i once knew had turned into a totally different person. One who treasure relationship alot n now playing around with guys. My heart break n was bleeding non-stop. I cant stop blaming myself. If it were for me i dun think she will changed. I met her n have a relationship with her, I broke her heart n end up now she is like that.
How i wished we never knew. How i wish we nv fell in love n how i wish i never broke her heart. If all doesnt happen in the past. Maybe now she will be having a decent relationship with another guy. Why does things had to be in this way. Hurting her own body is not loving herself. How i wished she could love herself again. Even end of the day her guy is not me. I would rather see her having a normal relationship than having many flings.
She asked me not to wait anymore if i continue waiting she will do more extreme stuff. Even its infront of me, she will do it infront of me to make me give her up. All i can say is she dun really know how i feel for her. My heart is still having the love for her thou my brain is numb. I already dun mind who is she with or how many guys she is having. All i know is i wan to wait for her. I told myself that even i had to fall again, i will still stand up n continue with my stubborn decision. I guess no one is able to stop me, my mind is clear n set. How long i wil have to wait? Will the day really come?? Will miracle really appear?? I do not know, all i can do is wait n wait. No matter wat she do or wat nasty things happen infront of me, i will stil love her with all my true feelings. Thou all the nasty things she said to me, no matter how much im hurt no matter how many tears i shed. I will stil wait for her. I mean it n i will.........
*going to interview with tears still in my eyes*
Thursday, August 11, 2005
Lost in emotions
i read her blog n there is something i would like to say about it. In a love relationship there is no who is right or wrong. As long as each other loves each other, everything can be dissolved. Love is the thing and everything to the relationship. No matter what kinda person she changed to, good or bad as long as the person is stil the person i wil not change my decision. There will be no better girl around cuz she is the one who is best n number one in my heart. She had really replaced someone that is in my heart for very long juz that i nv told her about it. I had changedalot too.....i drink alot n i gamble too. Everyone will change due to enviornment factors but who will care when there is still love around us?I remembered all the promises we made in the past. I said this before...no matter what happen i will not give her up so easily. im one guy who treat relationships very seriously. I fall so deep becuz i really cherished her. I dun know if its the same for her. Juz becuz of some little factors she wan me to move on n get a better girl. I would really like her to ask this question herself. "For the past one yr is ur feeling true for me?"
If she really loved me all along in the past i believed that she will not give me up so easily without any serious thinking. Dun keep saying that u r not worth for me anymore. Did u really sconsider about my feeling?? I say u r the best mean u r the best. I aint no perfect guy in this world too. Why cant we juz compromise with each other??? Unless u wanna tell me that all along u doesnt love me at all.........
"I would move heaven and earth to be together forever with you"
If she really loved me all along in the past i believed that she will not give me up so easily without any serious thinking. Dun keep saying that u r not worth for me anymore. Did u really sconsider about my feeling?? I say u r the best mean u r the best. I aint no perfect guy in this world too. Why cant we juz compromise with each other??? Unless u wanna tell me that all along u doesnt love me at all.........
"I would move heaven and earth to be together forever with you"
Story that doesnt end
Ok... Since all my dear friends like to read long bloggy, i decide to whack everything in. My com restarted before i even type out 1/3 of my entry for today. That doesnt mean that i will skip thoes parts. I will re type no matter how many times my com going to restart. To all the ppl who is reading this entry now. Its stil not too late for u to turn back. Close the window or be sorry. Alrite here i go...
After dissolving all the hatred i have in the relationship, i felt more relax n light weigh. Thou its too late but at least i made it. I think its better for me to suffer alone than make the both of us so unhappy. One thing i can confirm is she is immume to my apologies but stil i wanna say SorrY for the unhappy times i created for her.
Time for today story. Finish my work ard 6 n gave xuanie a call n was arranged to meet up at orchard mrt. But later she called n cancelled it cuz she was going to have a poly gathering. Pff...fine...outta no choice i called shirely to see if shes stil alive. Haha....juz happen that she is going down to Dbl o, so i decided to go n meet her. Quickly shower n change like in the NS times. Rush down there on time (cuz i take cab la) She signed me in cuz she knows someone at Dbl O. Went in around 10 n immdiately ordered drinks. This has been my routine for the past 2 weeks. Shirley the siao char bor ordered 5 jugs of housepour. only 4 ppl orde so much liao. Didnt care much n i drank like nobody business. I left half an hour later n there is 1 n half juggies down my throat. I was determined to go zouk cuz i know she will be there. I wanted to go there n see her n i was so eager. Took a cab n got into zouk 5 mins before 11pm. Like i said for my routine.....once i got there i didnt even say hi to my frds n i went to get myself a drink. Breezer...as usual my fav at zouk. Pop it down before my 3rd song ended. N was dancing like shit..... i missed cue most of my move... Omg...wat is kai doing at that time man.... I happen to take many sips of drink frm many ppl around me. Sound like a leecher??? Everyone was surprised y i was drinking so much recently. I also dun like to drink so much de. I got no choice, this is the only way of making myself numb.... every sec my mind is her.... the more i missed her the more im drinking. So pple who was close to me r able to judge it. Music kinda ok but the crowd sux big time. Alot of ang mohs coming up n making us miserable. Ken was the most poor thing last night. Within 2 hours n hes on his way home.... At one point of time my asthma suddenly attacked n i was like no energy to move anymore. Was sitting down there pple ard was thinking that im seh...DuH~~~ When i got up on my feet again my nemesis came... The song "together forever" At that time tears r queueing up near my eyes waiting to rush out. I was controlling very hard n ziwei asked me to buck up. Thanks for the encouragement dude. U really helped me at that time. Was dancing until one time xuan juz disappeared. Manage to find her n found out that shes having gastric n was very tired. So ziwei n i went off to find her. Dun knw y but recently been really close to xuan. Machiam treating her as my younger sis, mayb i dun have one that y im reacting like that. One reason is shes danny gf too. As a frd looking after her n see her go home safe is a way not to let my good friend worry too. She went off very early wit allen n we went back to zouk. Got ourself a drink before we go back dancing but found out that i got no mood to dance anymore. Been thinking alot n cant concentrate myself. I was dancing n sitting all the way until mambo ended. Went to shell in a car n we were squeezing like hell. LoL! Was joking alot n really make me laugh alot ever since that incident happened to me. Then jo jason and the lead actress came over. Was looking at her most of the time but whenever she look over i will try to hide, i know i had let her down so i dun dare to face her. Was playing 'murderer' game...... LoL damn fun as the victim is to silly to figure out who has his keys. Next is cat's handphone....haha.... went off ard 5 n we took a ride to bukit panjang. Cat took a cab back frm there n after 15 mins then im able to get the next cabby. Was stil in happy mood cuz we r stil joking alot in the car. One sad thing during that journey is we passed by holland V. Then radio was playing eternal love n happen that we pass by the road i used to walk with her frm holland V to clementi. 2 solid hours of walking back her home is really a sweet memory to me. I swear i nv ever forget that. Reached home around 6 n had a long shower cuz i was stil thinkig about her.... asked my mum to get me breakfast n it was my fav nasi lemak. Eat already feeling abit slepy but i still wanna blog. I know i got alot of thing to write n i dun wan to do it after sleep.
Kai is stupid, kai is silly, kai is hopeless n kai is stubborn about this relationship. I had made a very important decision. I decided to wait for her until the day i know its impossbile. Frankly speaking i stil loved her alot n everyday the feeling is getting more n more cuz all along i been missing her alot. No matter wat time where i was or wat i do....i juz cant get her outta my head. She is the one who taught me alot n i admit it, I was taught how to be a better boyfriend n most important is how to be a better person in life. I been changing alot n til now i nv stop trying. I wanna prove to her that i really can do it n i hope she will come back to me one day even to the extend of kneeing down infront of her. I put down alot of my pride n why is that so? Its all becuz of her cuz i wanted to be with her for the rest of my life thats y i dun mind doing everything for her. I know we had alot of arguements n quarrels. But i really hope end of day we stil can be together as 1. I know now there is alot of guy is r better than me around her. But i dun care who is really good or met her criteria. All i was hoping was her love for me is stil there too. Like someone told me before..."if u really love a person alot, u would forgive her no matter wat she had did to u. All the unahppy memories will be replaced by the sweet memories" I hope she will think that way too n give me one more chance. Cuz i really agree to that sentence. No matter how unhappy moments there are, juz think of the happy memories n u will able to make urself feel better. Sent her a msg in friendster n til now stil no reply. Does she really hate me?? Does she really dun love me anymore?? Does she really wanna forget me n dun want to be with me anymore?? Does she really wanna go for another guy who is alot better than me? These qustions has been on my mind throughout the whole mambo. Nothing much i can do n i dun dare to do anything anymore. What i felt like telling her is that If u really still love me n wanted to be with me again pls let me prove to u that i really can make it. Dun let some quarrels end our love vows just like that. I know i made alot of promises n i dun wan to juz let it go without making it come true. One of the things is about buying her a very nice n expensive jeans. I promised to get her one when she is able to wear her jeans again. N i can see that she made it. I will make the promise come true but she muz gimme a chance to fulfil it. There is alot of things i wanna say or do but im scared that i might not have the chance to do it. Alot of things i was unable to recall n jot it down here. I know im kinda useless. Gimme some time. Whenever i tot of something i will quickly blog it down.
Last but not least i wanna say "I love you"
After dissolving all the hatred i have in the relationship, i felt more relax n light weigh. Thou its too late but at least i made it. I think its better for me to suffer alone than make the both of us so unhappy. One thing i can confirm is she is immume to my apologies but stil i wanna say SorrY for the unhappy times i created for her.
Time for today story. Finish my work ard 6 n gave xuanie a call n was arranged to meet up at orchard mrt. But later she called n cancelled it cuz she was going to have a poly gathering. Pff...fine...outta no choice i called shirely to see if shes stil alive. Haha....juz happen that she is going down to Dbl o, so i decided to go n meet her. Quickly shower n change like in the NS times. Rush down there on time (cuz i take cab la) She signed me in cuz she knows someone at Dbl O. Went in around 10 n immdiately ordered drinks. This has been my routine for the past 2 weeks. Shirley the siao char bor ordered 5 jugs of housepour. only 4 ppl orde so much liao. Didnt care much n i drank like nobody business. I left half an hour later n there is 1 n half juggies down my throat. I was determined to go zouk cuz i know she will be there. I wanted to go there n see her n i was so eager. Took a cab n got into zouk 5 mins before 11pm. Like i said for my routine.....once i got there i didnt even say hi to my frds n i went to get myself a drink. Breezer...as usual my fav at zouk. Pop it down before my 3rd song ended. N was dancing like shit..... i missed cue most of my move... Omg...wat is kai doing at that time man.... I happen to take many sips of drink frm many ppl around me. Sound like a leecher??? Everyone was surprised y i was drinking so much recently. I also dun like to drink so much de. I got no choice, this is the only way of making myself numb.... every sec my mind is her.... the more i missed her the more im drinking. So pple who was close to me r able to judge it. Music kinda ok but the crowd sux big time. Alot of ang mohs coming up n making us miserable. Ken was the most poor thing last night. Within 2 hours n hes on his way home.... At one point of time my asthma suddenly attacked n i was like no energy to move anymore. Was sitting down there pple ard was thinking that im seh...DuH~~~ When i got up on my feet again my nemesis came... The song "together forever" At that time tears r queueing up near my eyes waiting to rush out. I was controlling very hard n ziwei asked me to buck up. Thanks for the encouragement dude. U really helped me at that time. Was dancing until one time xuan juz disappeared. Manage to find her n found out that shes having gastric n was very tired. So ziwei n i went off to find her. Dun knw y but recently been really close to xuan. Machiam treating her as my younger sis, mayb i dun have one that y im reacting like that. One reason is shes danny gf too. As a frd looking after her n see her go home safe is a way not to let my good friend worry too. She went off very early wit allen n we went back to zouk. Got ourself a drink before we go back dancing but found out that i got no mood to dance anymore. Been thinking alot n cant concentrate myself. I was dancing n sitting all the way until mambo ended. Went to shell in a car n we were squeezing like hell. LoL! Was joking alot n really make me laugh alot ever since that incident happened to me. Then jo jason and the lead actress came over. Was looking at her most of the time but whenever she look over i will try to hide, i know i had let her down so i dun dare to face her. Was playing 'murderer' game...... LoL damn fun as the victim is to silly to figure out who has his keys. Next is cat's handphone....haha.... went off ard 5 n we took a ride to bukit panjang. Cat took a cab back frm there n after 15 mins then im able to get the next cabby. Was stil in happy mood cuz we r stil joking alot in the car. One sad thing during that journey is we passed by holland V. Then radio was playing eternal love n happen that we pass by the road i used to walk with her frm holland V to clementi. 2 solid hours of walking back her home is really a sweet memory to me. I swear i nv ever forget that. Reached home around 6 n had a long shower cuz i was stil thinkig about her.... asked my mum to get me breakfast n it was my fav nasi lemak. Eat already feeling abit slepy but i still wanna blog. I know i got alot of thing to write n i dun wan to do it after sleep.
Kai is stupid, kai is silly, kai is hopeless n kai is stubborn about this relationship. I had made a very important decision. I decided to wait for her until the day i know its impossbile. Frankly speaking i stil loved her alot n everyday the feeling is getting more n more cuz all along i been missing her alot. No matter wat time where i was or wat i do....i juz cant get her outta my head. She is the one who taught me alot n i admit it, I was taught how to be a better boyfriend n most important is how to be a better person in life. I been changing alot n til now i nv stop trying. I wanna prove to her that i really can do it n i hope she will come back to me one day even to the extend of kneeing down infront of her. I put down alot of my pride n why is that so? Its all becuz of her cuz i wanted to be with her for the rest of my life thats y i dun mind doing everything for her. I know we had alot of arguements n quarrels. But i really hope end of day we stil can be together as 1. I know now there is alot of guy is r better than me around her. But i dun care who is really good or met her criteria. All i was hoping was her love for me is stil there too. Like someone told me before..."if u really love a person alot, u would forgive her no matter wat she had did to u. All the unahppy memories will be replaced by the sweet memories" I hope she will think that way too n give me one more chance. Cuz i really agree to that sentence. No matter how unhappy moments there are, juz think of the happy memories n u will able to make urself feel better. Sent her a msg in friendster n til now stil no reply. Does she really hate me?? Does she really dun love me anymore?? Does she really wanna forget me n dun want to be with me anymore?? Does she really wanna go for another guy who is alot better than me? These qustions has been on my mind throughout the whole mambo. Nothing much i can do n i dun dare to do anything anymore. What i felt like telling her is that If u really still love me n wanted to be with me again pls let me prove to u that i really can make it. Dun let some quarrels end our love vows just like that. I know i made alot of promises n i dun wan to juz let it go without making it come true. One of the things is about buying her a very nice n expensive jeans. I promised to get her one when she is able to wear her jeans again. N i can see that she made it. I will make the promise come true but she muz gimme a chance to fulfil it. There is alot of things i wanna say or do but im scared that i might not have the chance to do it. Alot of things i was unable to recall n jot it down here. I know im kinda useless. Gimme some time. Whenever i tot of something i will quickly blog it down.
Last but not least i wanna say "I love you"
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Duh
Today is a holiday n yet... I BEEN STUCK AT HOME!!! Woke up ard 8pm n was having a severe headache. When to take a panadol straight n called xuan thou its already late to go out. Surprise that shes going to stay at her ah ma house n not going anywhere....(hmm i know wats going on okie?? Rem wat i said during mon night? hehe) No choice la so only can stay at home. Watch the national day parade n stil thinks that it so lame. As usual...nothing to do at home my mind will start running wild like a hungry lion outta cage. Log in to my gamie to cut down on the thinking but found out that my mind already conquered the multi tasking issue. Its stil able to run wild no matter wat or how many things im doing. Guess i was really poisoned too deep. I know i m very stubborn. In front of my frds i told them i will get over it but then my heart doesnt wanna. My heart kept lying to me that SHE will return one day thats y til now her belongings r still kept safe with me. Been thinking alot until i was idling in the game. Off it n went to sleep, com is stil on n i dun know y.....hoping that SHE will come talk to me?? Mayb but i really dun know. Been disturb by noise of Msn and i woke up n check wats goin on. It was a a mass conversation with ziwei, cat, jena, kes and seb. Didnt really join in the talking cuz i was stil half awake. Awhile later i went into game n same thing happen as before. Mind keep thinking about HER. M i really used to HER n cant get over it forever??? Been in tots for 5 solid hours n i finally decide to msg HER in friendster cuz i cant think of a way to msg. Everyone muz be thinking that i wanna beg HER to come back to me rite??? All i can say is its impossible, but on the other hand i kept lying to myself that SHE will come back to me one day. But stil its impossible i know it... oh well...i think i m kinda lost, dun know wat i m toking ler. It was sorta peace agreement to HER. I wanted to put down every grudges we used to have and like wat others said wat past is past. I know i m only drawing the line between me n HER. But stil my heart n my mind will keep having war. No matter wat i juz hope she will be doing fine lo.. As for me leh....let me die bah...let me live in the world that im stil believe one day SHE will come back. I know im stubborn but i cant help it.... One yr of Solid relationship n Love u think so easily can let go meh. If fact long ago i already told myself that SHE is the one i wanna spend my life with forever. Thats y when "together forever" was played on sat at Dbl O, i juz cried without any silly reason. Cuz this was the song that i wanna sing to her forever. But then.....reality is cruel....i dun think i have the chance anymore... Well Well..........by sending the peace agreement n typing out this blog, i really felt better. Juz praying hard that tonite there is no "Together Forever" during mambo, cuz i really dun know how to handle if the song is out.
Tuesday, August 9, 2005
Stil awake
Monday...Eve of National day.... superb but yet imperfect day for me. Woke up at 4pm, manage to get up early cuz i remembered today got steamboat session with roger n gang. Call roger to fix the time to meet up to shop for the foods. Then confirm Danny n Xuan about the meeting. Was meeting 5.30pm but i left home around 4.45pm. I know this time sure late le. But bo bian i gotta rush my assginment for my part time job n needa send in my resume n arrange for interviews. Got a job opportunity for me at a semi conductor company. The one i rejected last year. Cuz i needa go oversea for 4 yrs of training. At that time i got a gf n i loved HER alot so i gave up that golden opportunity. Come to think of it.... i was really stupid at that time. Cuz now then i found out that she doesnt really love me that much. So i went down there n only saw yii waiting. Lucky that she only juz arrived not that long ago. Yii told me roger is going to late too, and one more thing is xuan is not meeting us! While waiting we went to a indian coffee shop to have a drink. Orderd Teh Tarek n it was god damn sweet. Roger called n asked us to get the food first as he was on his way already. So i called danny n ask if he's joining us or if he's on his way already. At that time he sounded kinda pissed off n i found out that they quarrel again. No wonder xuan is not meeting us at Tekka Mall. She said she might be late or even not going to eat. If u really didnt come juz now i would have killed you! Haha......So we bought the food n roger came in a short while. Paid for the things n wee hopped on a cab n reached roger's hse in a very short while. Prepared the food with yii while roger is talking to his ah gong.
Surprise that xuan is the next to reach before danny. Talk to her awhile and found out that it over a small thingy again. U 2 ah..... everytime like dat de leh. Since i m so free now i dun mind being ur middle man to solve ur problems. Cuz i dun wan any of my frds ended up like me. I know u will be reading this.....haha! u 2 better buck up n give in to each other more, I cant be a middle man for too long wait people will say i so kpo for wat.
When everyone arrived we started the steamboat immediately. Everyone is so hungry by then including the late ones. Hehe.. Food was really great n the soup was damn super power. Enjoying til half xuan got a call n went far away to talk. Alrite...im not dumb n blind ok... I know sure got things cock up again. After awhile she told us that shes going to meet her mum cuz of some urgent thingys. OMG! thats the lousiest lie i ever heard. But frankly speaking.. i would rather u telling me the truth than keeping me in the dark. Im a guy who dun like frds to lied to me... tok to u at sentosa liao so u roughly know wat i want rite??? So dun be scare next time, i wun BITE la! I juz feel very unhappy about it cuz... Y cant SHE leave me alone n let me be with my frds for one day. Why muz my appointment be ruined by HER. Sat is already so bad n now monday attacked me again. I was havng the rest of te meal feeling very sad and unhappy. Luckily got cheerful roger to clear away some of my dark clouds. Planned to go devilsbar but suddenly changed our mind to go sentosa n find xuan. Reason is very simple, we dun knw wat xuan is doing down there n we dun know wat kinda of pple is she meeting. Mayb there r some Big Bad Wolf there. Danny was so worried n we decided to go down to find xuan without any early notice.
Reached there ard 2+ n found xuan very easily cuz that place is kinda small. By that time then we set our mind at ease esp danny. Xuan is only a lil bit high. Juz imagine...if we r not there she might ended up drunk n we dun dare to imagine wat would happen if there is really some bad guys among her group there. So xuan ah dun say ur bf dun care about u..in fact he really does but he doesnt know how to express it nia. I can use ur good good frd zhikai's head to bet with u ok? Reached there within 5 mins we went to buy a jug of beer. Finished it within 15 mins n i went over to ken's table to drink with ziwei n allen. I admit i was high at that time but im not drunk!!! Was having alot of fun n laughter with the mambo group. Dun even care who the fuk the next table was. Thou one guy in black with spec at the next table kept staring at me. I dun gif a fuk about him cuz at that time i was really in good mood n was enjoying. Everyone was kinda sad cuz there is no mambo but to me....i couldnt think properly le so dun even care wat shit music the dj was spinning. Took alot of photos n i muz admit that this is the first time i took so many photos at one shot. Cant post it up cuz i dun even know the camera belong to who.. hahahaha.... Dun care n juz keep taking n taking.
Music finished at 4 n part of the group left and only Cat, Danny, Roger, Yii, Irene n i was left. We decided to sit around to chat cuz stil dun wanna leave so early. Then we took a bus ride outta sentosa n was chatting with cat until everyone went off the bus n we r talking. Then yii's frd irene went off too. So left 5 of us n we decided to go Tanjong Pagar to have roti prata. I muz say it's really a big fuking damn long walk there. As we were walking, something happen to me. My mind juz dun act according to my command. i kept thinking about the past i used to have n happen that it's all thoes sweet memories with HER. I was knocking my head n keep asking my mind to stop all thoes thinking. But stil it wun listen to me. I was suffering along the way then i told yii about it. She said that i really had done my best at Sentosa so for the rest of it i need alot of time to get over it. Well....after that we reached the prata place n we ordered food..... Before eating, i heard someone shouting at me. IT WAS DENIS!!! Omg...i cannot imagine i would see him there. He joined us n we r joking like hell. Denis is alwiz the best guy at making me laugh. N he told us that he juz finished his work... i was like wow~~~ Decided to go off at 6.30am cuz everyone is very tired, including me.
Took a cab back n reached home around 7.30am. Had a nice shower and check my mails. Paid up some of my bills online cuz i juz got my pay today. Not bad la... free lance job n i got $648 for the first half month. But nvm...if i manage to pass the interviews for the job i juz applied, my life will be stable ler. I will become a engineer...woooooo nice name eh?? haha!! they say $2200 for starting pay n i think its really worth it also. But then... i have to go overseas for 4 yrs of training. Really blame myself for not accepting the job last yr cuz this time the benefits r lesser. Wanted to sleep but i cant!!! My mind start messing with me again. It keep thinking about thoes memories i used to have with HER again.... I was suffering alone this time n i knocked my head against the wall. OUCH!!! that really hurtz.... but compared to the hurtz n cracks i have in my heart, its really nothing. I really wanted to forget HER cuz i know there is no more turning back for the relationship. I know she will not come back to me anymore but y m i stil feeling so bad. I guess the only thing to save me is the job. It will take me overseas for 4 yrs n this is the chance to change myself n give myself a new start. SHE dun love me anymore dun say miss me abit so i must not continue being sad n lonely. I muz have a change in my life n forget her totally, i really wanted to but its really hard. Can someone teach me how??? These 2 weeks i already changed alot...including my drinking ability. Juz now i drank so much but im only high can see that i m inproving. Til now i stil cant sleep even thou i been blogging for some time, another reason is my mind stil spinning. But not as bad as juz now... Juz received a msg frm shirley. The ger that treated me e-33 at phuture last 2 weeks. My only reply for her is that i needa time to get over my past relationship before i can give u any answer. Pls forgive me n be patience i will try my best to give u an answer ASAP. Think now the only thing i can do is go pack up HER remaining clothes n accessories including that 3 piglets n one pig SHE name BarBar. Gotta throw them away cuz i dun wanted to be reminded of anything anymore. I m really suffering whenever im at home thats y i been going out whenever i can. Today is national day. Whoever wanna go out can call me. I will be only sleeping a few hours cuz i dun wanna miss out a holiday. Haha!!
Surprise that xuan is the next to reach before danny. Talk to her awhile and found out that it over a small thingy again. U 2 ah..... everytime like dat de leh. Since i m so free now i dun mind being ur middle man to solve ur problems. Cuz i dun wan any of my frds ended up like me. I know u will be reading this.....haha! u 2 better buck up n give in to each other more, I cant be a middle man for too long wait people will say i so kpo for wat.
When everyone arrived we started the steamboat immediately. Everyone is so hungry by then including the late ones. Hehe.. Food was really great n the soup was damn super power. Enjoying til half xuan got a call n went far away to talk. Alrite...im not dumb n blind ok... I know sure got things cock up again. After awhile she told us that shes going to meet her mum cuz of some urgent thingys. OMG! thats the lousiest lie i ever heard. But frankly speaking.. i would rather u telling me the truth than keeping me in the dark. Im a guy who dun like frds to lied to me... tok to u at sentosa liao so u roughly know wat i want rite??? So dun be scare next time, i wun BITE la! I juz feel very unhappy about it cuz... Y cant SHE leave me alone n let me be with my frds for one day. Why muz my appointment be ruined by HER. Sat is already so bad n now monday attacked me again. I was havng the rest of te meal feeling very sad and unhappy. Luckily got cheerful roger to clear away some of my dark clouds. Planned to go devilsbar but suddenly changed our mind to go sentosa n find xuan. Reason is very simple, we dun knw wat xuan is doing down there n we dun know wat kinda of pple is she meeting. Mayb there r some Big Bad Wolf there. Danny was so worried n we decided to go down to find xuan without any early notice.
Reached there ard 2+ n found xuan very easily cuz that place is kinda small. By that time then we set our mind at ease esp danny. Xuan is only a lil bit high. Juz imagine...if we r not there she might ended up drunk n we dun dare to imagine wat would happen if there is really some bad guys among her group there. So xuan ah dun say ur bf dun care about u..in fact he really does but he doesnt know how to express it nia. I can use ur good good frd zhikai's head to bet with u ok? Reached there within 5 mins we went to buy a jug of beer. Finished it within 15 mins n i went over to ken's table to drink with ziwei n allen. I admit i was high at that time but im not drunk!!! Was having alot of fun n laughter with the mambo group. Dun even care who the fuk the next table was. Thou one guy in black with spec at the next table kept staring at me. I dun gif a fuk about him cuz at that time i was really in good mood n was enjoying. Everyone was kinda sad cuz there is no mambo but to me....i couldnt think properly le so dun even care wat shit music the dj was spinning. Took alot of photos n i muz admit that this is the first time i took so many photos at one shot. Cant post it up cuz i dun even know the camera belong to who.. hahahaha.... Dun care n juz keep taking n taking.
Music finished at 4 n part of the group left and only Cat, Danny, Roger, Yii, Irene n i was left. We decided to sit around to chat cuz stil dun wanna leave so early. Then we took a bus ride outta sentosa n was chatting with cat until everyone went off the bus n we r talking. Then yii's frd irene went off too. So left 5 of us n we decided to go Tanjong Pagar to have roti prata. I muz say it's really a big fuking damn long walk there. As we were walking, something happen to me. My mind juz dun act according to my command. i kept thinking about the past i used to have n happen that it's all thoes sweet memories with HER. I was knocking my head n keep asking my mind to stop all thoes thinking. But stil it wun listen to me. I was suffering along the way then i told yii about it. She said that i really had done my best at Sentosa so for the rest of it i need alot of time to get over it. Well....after that we reached the prata place n we ordered food..... Before eating, i heard someone shouting at me. IT WAS DENIS!!! Omg...i cannot imagine i would see him there. He joined us n we r joking like hell. Denis is alwiz the best guy at making me laugh. N he told us that he juz finished his work... i was like wow~~~ Decided to go off at 6.30am cuz everyone is very tired, including me.
Took a cab back n reached home around 7.30am. Had a nice shower and check my mails. Paid up some of my bills online cuz i juz got my pay today. Not bad la... free lance job n i got $648 for the first half month. But nvm...if i manage to pass the interviews for the job i juz applied, my life will be stable ler. I will become a engineer...woooooo nice name eh?? haha!! they say $2200 for starting pay n i think its really worth it also. But then... i have to go overseas for 4 yrs of training. Really blame myself for not accepting the job last yr cuz this time the benefits r lesser. Wanted to sleep but i cant!!! My mind start messing with me again. It keep thinking about thoes memories i used to have with HER again.... I was suffering alone this time n i knocked my head against the wall. OUCH!!! that really hurtz.... but compared to the hurtz n cracks i have in my heart, its really nothing. I really wanted to forget HER cuz i know there is no more turning back for the relationship. I know she will not come back to me anymore but y m i stil feeling so bad. I guess the only thing to save me is the job. It will take me overseas for 4 yrs n this is the chance to change myself n give myself a new start. SHE dun love me anymore dun say miss me abit so i must not continue being sad n lonely. I muz have a change in my life n forget her totally, i really wanted to but its really hard. Can someone teach me how??? These 2 weeks i already changed alot...including my drinking ability. Juz now i drank so much but im only high can see that i m inproving. Til now i stil cant sleep even thou i been blogging for some time, another reason is my mind stil spinning. But not as bad as juz now... Juz received a msg frm shirley. The ger that treated me e-33 at phuture last 2 weeks. My only reply for her is that i needa time to get over my past relationship before i can give u any answer. Pls forgive me n be patience i will try my best to give u an answer ASAP. Think now the only thing i can do is go pack up HER remaining clothes n accessories including that 3 piglets n one pig SHE name BarBar. Gotta throw them away cuz i dun wanted to be reminded of anything anymore. I m really suffering whenever im at home thats y i been going out whenever i can. Today is national day. Whoever wanna go out can call me. I will be only sleeping a few hours cuz i dun wanna miss out a holiday. Haha!!
Monday, August 8, 2005
Wats Wrong???
Fri:
Was playing game thru the whole night n met steve for lunch at causeway point. Went home ard 2 to take a nap cuz later stil have to meet danny n rest to jason's bbQ. Request Xuan to meet abit late cuz i wana watch DragonBall Z. But who knows.... No more le!!! Was kinda sad...then went to meet up with xuan at marsiling mrt then we slowly head down to jason place. Reach there ard 7.30pm and we r the first few to reached. Jason cook his pasta n order alot of food. Thou he didnt invite alot ppl but his food was kinda alot. Talking about the food. Its really great.. from the pasta to the curry and the salad. Even the bbQ items r fabulous too. Thanks alot jason. That night SHE was there too. Not going to do anything i guess cuz i really enjoying myself that night. So i was ignoring her like wat i did on wed during mambo. Oh.. and also have to thanks jason for the beer too. Sorry that we ate alot.. Danny n i was like taken 3 meals each over there. BEfore going back we were deciding what to do as we decide to have some programs at night. Wast able to meet oger n yii cuz they r only going to town for dinner. So our itchy hands starts again. We tot of playing mahjong. But only 3 of us. Then i suddenly tot of cat. Before going out i was chatting with her on msn. She sound kinda sad cuz she gotta stay in ntu for meeting, mayb she will miss her mahjong session. So we decided to give her a call n ask, n she happen to be staying in ntu. So we jio her n we left jason's place at 12.10am. Was nuaing insie danny hostel n 1 thing to headache is we dun even have a table n the mahjong set. So dany was running ard borrowing frm his frds. Started the session at 2 n end ard 7+. Only played 2 rounds but its enuff for us. Cuz xuan was very tired n somemore she's stil sick. Danny was the only one losing that day n we go off immediately after the mahjong. Send cat back to her hall n i took a bus to jurong point n take a cab home. Had a shower n i immediately sleep. @ nights without sleep n i m able to manage it well. Not bad.....
Sat:
Woke up after 11 hrs of sleep and i was feeling very weird. I cant explain tht kind of feeling but i was feeling very very sad n moody. So as usual i called xuan to ask wat r we gonna do tonight. She told me that SHE is going Dbl O too. So i told xuan if SHE going, im not. I may be ignoring HER for the past 2 weeks. But dun knw y today i dun feel like seeing HER at all. Its ok for me not to go cuz i have some other programs at other places too. So i went down to meet aaron with steve as aaron got some $$ for us to earn. Was discussing until 9+ then we had our dinner. Was suppose to meet Danny n xuan at bugis n they r like super late n they decide to go orchard cuz they got a frd going n has a car. So i was suppose to meet them at orchard but when i finish my dinner it was like 10.30pm already. So i arrange to meet them at Singapore shopping center. Steve n i walked to Plaza singapura cuz he wants to take a train home. So we parted there n i ran to find a toilet. Reached Singapore shopping centre and i didnt see any bus stop around. I went to the nearest bus stop ard that took me 5 mins of walk. Waited 20 mins n no sign of them. I got worried n i ran back to Park mall looking for a public phone to call xuan. Couldnt find any phone n i asked the security of park mall where to get a public phone. They said they isn't any around, i was kinda worried but luckily the security offered to lend me his handphone cuz i told him it was a short call. i confirm with xuan the location again n i walked back to where i waited again. It was damn tiring u know.. Waited for so long n finally they came. We reached Dbl O ard 1035pm n as we were waiting to get in, Xuan told me roger n yii is joining us too. i was delighted cuz they r here too. BUT one more thing... after that xuan told me that SHE is coming to Dbl O tonight too. I was damn shocked n felt very disappointed at that time. Like wat i said earlier, today i totally dun feel like seeig HER n i dun knw why. I even told xuan that i dun mind not going Dbl O if SHE is there. But then its already too late, gab n adrian is waiting for me there already. Out of no choice i have dragged myself up there. I was wondering y xuan didnt inform me earlier, is it becuz she wan to have me around too? But i had made my point very clear to her already. I was feeling very moody n sore the moment i reached the place. I went to find aaron straight n he offered me a barcadi breezer. After saying thanks i shot down the bottle in 2 mins cuz i was feeling even sore as every sec is going by. Music started n everyone went to centre plat without telling me or anything. Left danny n i was around the dj console. I was thinking....since u want everyone to be there n enjoy that night then dun juz throw me aside. If u wanna throw me aside THEN dun ask me to come. I was there alone feeling sore n as together forever came. I dun knw what the hell happen i suddenly felt very sad n i cried!!! Alrite u guys may think i m weak and useless right. Muz be laughing at me rite?? But im a human too. I have feelings too.. Was crying very hard used alot of tissue that gab passed to me. Like gab said..."since we r here...enjoy urself. SHE is enjoying over there n while u r crying here. is it worth it?" I tot of it n i control myself very hard to stop crying. After that i decide to dance....was doing well at dancefloor. But dun knw y after i reached the plat i dun seems to have the mood to dance anymore. Less than 5 songs n i stopped. Went back to dj console n stand there for the whole night. I wanna thanks thoes who r with me when im down. Esp to Gab n Danny. U 2 r with me everywhere i go. Around 1+ roger n gang decided to stop n they walked over to the dj console. The moment i saw HER, i turned n walked away. Everyone say i shldnt do that but at that time no one understands my feeling at all. After a while roger suggested that since im so so bored n bad at Dbl O, y not change place. So 4 of us. Danny, roger, yii n i went to Devilsbar. reaching there i was calmed down abit already. Basically to devils, everything is sponsored by rogern yii. Entrance n even food! hey ordered chicken wings n asked me wat i wan. I ordered a ham n cheese pizza. Was feeling very pai seh but they say got voucher so its ok.danny n roger was drinking alot and yii was enjoying. I was down there trying to recover back to normal. Danny left before 4 cuz his bro did not bring his keys n no one is at home. By that tie danny is kinda seh seh le but i know he sure can make it de. Left 3 of us n we sat until 6am til everything in devils ended. Was back to my normal state already n 3 of us were hungry at that time. We decided to go to AMK for breakfast. Had prawn noodles at the hawker n roger order wrong one for yii n in the end he had to swallow all the power chillis himself. Haha... we r joking n having our breakfast. Then i rem there is a famous carrot cake ard n i orderd a plate n found out its really good!! YuM YuM~~ Found out that we order alot of drinks too. After food we had some discussion about my matters. After talking one bad thing happens. No more cigarettes le...alamak!!! So we went to 7-11 n we shared a pack n roger wana cut hair. As it was stil early, we went to s-11 to chat n ordered a few drinks.Long time we 3 nv chatted for so long... everthing under the sun n we joked alot too. Even joked with the ah soh serving coffee..LoL..Time pass very the fast, it was lunch time n we had chicken rice. We r planning for steamboat n it was decided on monday evening cuz it was eve of public holiday. After lunch everyone is tired n we went off. I went to take mrt home n roger went to have his haircut. If i didnt rem wrong, we left at 12pm. Reached home n had a quick shower, wanting to blog but i was too tired so gave it a miss. Sleep at 1 n it was another 12 hrs of sleep. Woke up at 1am n i blog immediatel cuz i dun wan to forget anything. Now i was feeling very hungry n how m i gonna find food at this kinda hours???
Was playing game thru the whole night n met steve for lunch at causeway point. Went home ard 2 to take a nap cuz later stil have to meet danny n rest to jason's bbQ. Request Xuan to meet abit late cuz i wana watch DragonBall Z. But who knows.... No more le!!! Was kinda sad...then went to meet up with xuan at marsiling mrt then we slowly head down to jason place. Reach there ard 7.30pm and we r the first few to reached. Jason cook his pasta n order alot of food. Thou he didnt invite alot ppl but his food was kinda alot. Talking about the food. Its really great.. from the pasta to the curry and the salad. Even the bbQ items r fabulous too. Thanks alot jason. That night SHE was there too. Not going to do anything i guess cuz i really enjoying myself that night. So i was ignoring her like wat i did on wed during mambo. Oh.. and also have to thanks jason for the beer too. Sorry that we ate alot.. Danny n i was like taken 3 meals each over there. BEfore going back we were deciding what to do as we decide to have some programs at night. Wast able to meet oger n yii cuz they r only going to town for dinner. So our itchy hands starts again. We tot of playing mahjong. But only 3 of us. Then i suddenly tot of cat. Before going out i was chatting with her on msn. She sound kinda sad cuz she gotta stay in ntu for meeting, mayb she will miss her mahjong session. So we decided to give her a call n ask, n she happen to be staying in ntu. So we jio her n we left jason's place at 12.10am. Was nuaing insie danny hostel n 1 thing to headache is we dun even have a table n the mahjong set. So dany was running ard borrowing frm his frds. Started the session at 2 n end ard 7+. Only played 2 rounds but its enuff for us. Cuz xuan was very tired n somemore she's stil sick. Danny was the only one losing that day n we go off immediately after the mahjong. Send cat back to her hall n i took a bus to jurong point n take a cab home. Had a shower n i immediately sleep. @ nights without sleep n i m able to manage it well. Not bad.....
Sat:
Woke up after 11 hrs of sleep and i was feeling very weird. I cant explain tht kind of feeling but i was feeling very very sad n moody. So as usual i called xuan to ask wat r we gonna do tonight. She told me that SHE is going Dbl O too. So i told xuan if SHE going, im not. I may be ignoring HER for the past 2 weeks. But dun knw y today i dun feel like seeing HER at all. Its ok for me not to go cuz i have some other programs at other places too. So i went down to meet aaron with steve as aaron got some $$ for us to earn. Was discussing until 9+ then we had our dinner. Was suppose to meet Danny n xuan at bugis n they r like super late n they decide to go orchard cuz they got a frd going n has a car. So i was suppose to meet them at orchard but when i finish my dinner it was like 10.30pm already. So i arrange to meet them at Singapore shopping center. Steve n i walked to Plaza singapura cuz he wants to take a train home. So we parted there n i ran to find a toilet. Reached Singapore shopping centre and i didnt see any bus stop around. I went to the nearest bus stop ard that took me 5 mins of walk. Waited 20 mins n no sign of them. I got worried n i ran back to Park mall looking for a public phone to call xuan. Couldnt find any phone n i asked the security of park mall where to get a public phone. They said they isn't any around, i was kinda worried but luckily the security offered to lend me his handphone cuz i told him it was a short call. i confirm with xuan the location again n i walked back to where i waited again. It was damn tiring u know.. Waited for so long n finally they came. We reached Dbl O ard 1035pm n as we were waiting to get in, Xuan told me roger n yii is joining us too. i was delighted cuz they r here too. BUT one more thing... after that xuan told me that SHE is coming to Dbl O tonight too. I was damn shocked n felt very disappointed at that time. Like wat i said earlier, today i totally dun feel like seeig HER n i dun knw why. I even told xuan that i dun mind not going Dbl O if SHE is there. But then its already too late, gab n adrian is waiting for me there already. Out of no choice i have dragged myself up there. I was wondering y xuan didnt inform me earlier, is it becuz she wan to have me around too? But i had made my point very clear to her already. I was feeling very moody n sore the moment i reached the place. I went to find aaron straight n he offered me a barcadi breezer. After saying thanks i shot down the bottle in 2 mins cuz i was feeling even sore as every sec is going by. Music started n everyone went to centre plat without telling me or anything. Left danny n i was around the dj console. I was thinking....since u want everyone to be there n enjoy that night then dun juz throw me aside. If u wanna throw me aside THEN dun ask me to come. I was there alone feeling sore n as together forever came. I dun knw what the hell happen i suddenly felt very sad n i cried!!! Alrite u guys may think i m weak and useless right. Muz be laughing at me rite?? But im a human too. I have feelings too.. Was crying very hard used alot of tissue that gab passed to me. Like gab said..."since we r here...enjoy urself. SHE is enjoying over there n while u r crying here. is it worth it?" I tot of it n i control myself very hard to stop crying. After that i decide to dance....was doing well at dancefloor. But dun knw y after i reached the plat i dun seems to have the mood to dance anymore. Less than 5 songs n i stopped. Went back to dj console n stand there for the whole night. I wanna thanks thoes who r with me when im down. Esp to Gab n Danny. U 2 r with me everywhere i go. Around 1+ roger n gang decided to stop n they walked over to the dj console. The moment i saw HER, i turned n walked away. Everyone say i shldnt do that but at that time no one understands my feeling at all. After a while roger suggested that since im so so bored n bad at Dbl O, y not change place. So 4 of us. Danny, roger, yii n i went to Devilsbar. reaching there i was calmed down abit already. Basically to devils, everything is sponsored by rogern yii. Entrance n even food! hey ordered chicken wings n asked me wat i wan. I ordered a ham n cheese pizza. Was feeling very pai seh but they say got voucher so its ok.danny n roger was drinking alot and yii was enjoying. I was down there trying to recover back to normal. Danny left before 4 cuz his bro did not bring his keys n no one is at home. By that tie danny is kinda seh seh le but i know he sure can make it de. Left 3 of us n we sat until 6am til everything in devils ended. Was back to my normal state already n 3 of us were hungry at that time. We decided to go to AMK for breakfast. Had prawn noodles at the hawker n roger order wrong one for yii n in the end he had to swallow all the power chillis himself. Haha... we r joking n having our breakfast. Then i rem there is a famous carrot cake ard n i orderd a plate n found out its really good!! YuM YuM~~ Found out that we order alot of drinks too. After food we had some discussion about my matters. After talking one bad thing happens. No more cigarettes le...alamak!!! So we went to 7-11 n we shared a pack n roger wana cut hair. As it was stil early, we went to s-11 to chat n ordered a few drinks.Long time we 3 nv chatted for so long... everthing under the sun n we joked alot too. Even joked with the ah soh serving coffee..LoL..Time pass very the fast, it was lunch time n we had chicken rice. We r planning for steamboat n it was decided on monday evening cuz it was eve of public holiday. After lunch everyone is tired n we went off. I went to take mrt home n roger went to have his haircut. If i didnt rem wrong, we left at 12pm. Reached home n had a quick shower, wanting to blog but i was too tired so gave it a miss. Sleep at 1 n it was another 12 hrs of sleep. Woke up at 1am n i blog immediatel cuz i dun wan to forget anything. Now i was feeling very hungry n how m i gonna find food at this kinda hours???
Thursday, August 4, 2005
Very tired
Wed was kinda simple yet not so havok. Met danny at orchard mrt around 5.45pm. Well i was late so very sorry cuz needa help a frd burn some cds. Haha! We went to taka 7-11 shared a drink and while waiting for xuan, we r toking about "qian bian wen da ti" Then we proceed to Mushroom pot to check out the price cuz we cant decide wat to eat. Xuan reached there before we do. So we walked around cuppage n see if there is anythg nice too. After looking at so many unreasonable prices, we decided to settle our dinner at a jap buffet store or rather foodcourt?? it was combine into one. It was damn cheap as it was only $11.90 for dinner. (it was student price n i mange to escape being check) The food look kinda cheap too cuz very no standard n they even got hotdog sushi. Thou food isnt that good but we stil enjoy it alot n as usual we joke like nobody business. And most important thing is we broke our last shshi buffet record!!!! Last time was 36 n this time was 37! Haha.. Den we were deciding wat to do as time is stil very the early. The wanted to play pool but they know i dun like as have to company me play lan again. Hehe..sorry la next time u 2 go play pool i company u both lo.
Times up and it time for mambo~ Wanted to take a cab but bus 16 was here first so save money lo..haha... went in very early n was like kinda empty to us cuz no regulars we know but only 3 of us. One by one turned up n the music start very early. So our mambo started very early too.. Like a prayer come n we all went up the plat. Dun knw when i joined into the grp liao. Haha... Music was normal to me mayb i din drink much bah but stil manage to dance alot cuz the grp infront was of was really funny n having lotsa laughter with them.
We left early n went to shell with danny's frd n was having instant noodles. Soon after the gang arrived and awhile later danny n his frds left cuz some were tired n got something on in the morning. Xuan n i stayed n were chatting with the mambo regulars. Joke alot n laughed like nobody business. I can only say this grp of ppl r really great. 5+ and we left divded into 2 grps. Sebastian send the 4 of us home n i found out that it was such a long journey for him but stil he dun mind it at all. First to bishan then to bukit batok. Then Ntu n finally to woodlands den he have to drive home to bukit panjang. By the time i reached home it was already 1hr plus journey. Had a cold shower n made me so awake. Xuan say wanna msn cuz she decided nt to sleep. Din see her online i guessed she was too tired mayb due to tues night she nv sleep well bah. Was chatting with cat again. Very short chat n i went to sleep. Woke up at 6.30 and realised i was having a very good sleep. All thanks to the rain god has given me! Was very cold n chilling and i dun feel like getting up at all. Damn shiok ah~~ so long nv sleep so well le. Was chatting with cyndi abit before watching the fishball drama. Hope that i can have my dinner after the drama. Feel like going out tomorrow, hopefully will be able to meet up with danny as he will end his lesson early. Will i be stayingat home or going out leh???
Times up and it time for mambo~ Wanted to take a cab but bus 16 was here first so save money lo..haha... went in very early n was like kinda empty to us cuz no regulars we know but only 3 of us. One by one turned up n the music start very early. So our mambo started very early too.. Like a prayer come n we all went up the plat. Dun knw when i joined into the grp liao. Haha... Music was normal to me mayb i din drink much bah but stil manage to dance alot cuz the grp infront was of was really funny n having lotsa laughter with them.
We left early n went to shell with danny's frd n was having instant noodles. Soon after the gang arrived and awhile later danny n his frds left cuz some were tired n got something on in the morning. Xuan n i stayed n were chatting with the mambo regulars. Joke alot n laughed like nobody business. I can only say this grp of ppl r really great. 5+ and we left divded into 2 grps. Sebastian send the 4 of us home n i found out that it was such a long journey for him but stil he dun mind it at all. First to bishan then to bukit batok. Then Ntu n finally to woodlands den he have to drive home to bukit panjang. By the time i reached home it was already 1hr plus journey. Had a cold shower n made me so awake. Xuan say wanna msn cuz she decided nt to sleep. Din see her online i guessed she was too tired mayb due to tues night she nv sleep well bah. Was chatting with cat again. Very short chat n i went to sleep. Woke up at 6.30 and realised i was having a very good sleep. All thanks to the rain god has given me! Was very cold n chilling and i dun feel like getting up at all. Damn shiok ah~~ so long nv sleep so well le. Was chatting with cyndi abit before watching the fishball drama. Hope that i can have my dinner after the drama. Feel like going out tomorrow, hopefully will be able to meet up with danny as he will end his lesson early. Will i be stayingat home or going out leh???
Tuesday, August 2, 2005
Peaceful days
Mon n tues was kinda peaceful to me. Stay in woodlands n didnt go far, mayb becuz weekends too crazy le so needa rest abit til wed mambo.
Mon was kinda boring as i woke up n feeling very hot. Den was online for games for the whole day til evening time i went to bugis to meet a fren. Sat at starbucks n was chit chatting. Wasnt paying much attention and in fact i didnt talk much cuz i was staring at her. Esp her smile that made my moody day feel better. After that i went to meet the gang, we had dinner near gab wdls hse n we proceed to adrian's hse. Gab play ps2 while steve, adrian and i r saving the pc. Not forgeting my dosage to liquior, adrian opened his extra bottle of vodka raspberry. Til 1+ we ended the day by going to shell n had our supper. Reached home around 2 n was chatting with xuan and catherine on msn. Xuan was so hapy cuz her bought bought a LV bag for her. While Catherine n i were chatting about our sad stories. Know alot of things that happen to her during the chat. Time pass very fast. When we ended our conversation n i realised its 6am in the morning.
Tues.. woke up at 2 plus. was playing my Gth n manage to lvl to 52, Den watched kids central for my daily dosage of DragonBall Z n Masked Rider Ryuki. Was waiting for xuan to contact me as she was thinking of going out today. No sound frm her i guess the meeting is cancelled. Adrian called ard 6+ n ask us to come out for dinner. He was planning for froggies leg since yesterday. We met at causeway point n take a slow walk down to the coffeeshop. Gab brought his own controller as he was planning to play game at adrian hse again. So we went n this time i was playing with gab cuz got another controller. Steve n adrian stil struggling on the pc. Well not forgetting the remainding vodak raspberry, we manage to finish it in no time. Stop at 3 n we went back.
This is all that happen on these two days. Simple n sweet. Was hoping to go out for some walk tomorrow. Provided able to find xuan also. Time to go to bed. After long hrs of playing im really tired now...
Mon was kinda boring as i woke up n feeling very hot. Den was online for games for the whole day til evening time i went to bugis to meet a fren. Sat at starbucks n was chit chatting. Wasnt paying much attention and in fact i didnt talk much cuz i was staring at her. Esp her smile that made my moody day feel better. After that i went to meet the gang, we had dinner near gab wdls hse n we proceed to adrian's hse. Gab play ps2 while steve, adrian and i r saving the pc. Not forgeting my dosage to liquior, adrian opened his extra bottle of vodka raspberry. Til 1+ we ended the day by going to shell n had our supper. Reached home around 2 n was chatting with xuan and catherine on msn. Xuan was so hapy cuz her bought bought a LV bag for her. While Catherine n i were chatting about our sad stories. Know alot of things that happen to her during the chat. Time pass very fast. When we ended our conversation n i realised its 6am in the morning.
Tues.. woke up at 2 plus. was playing my Gth n manage to lvl to 52, Den watched kids central for my daily dosage of DragonBall Z n Masked Rider Ryuki. Was waiting for xuan to contact me as she was thinking of going out today. No sound frm her i guess the meeting is cancelled. Adrian called ard 6+ n ask us to come out for dinner. He was planning for froggies leg since yesterday. We met at causeway point n take a slow walk down to the coffeeshop. Gab brought his own controller as he was planning to play game at adrian hse again. So we went n this time i was playing with gab cuz got another controller. Steve n adrian stil struggling on the pc. Well not forgetting the remainding vodak raspberry, we manage to finish it in no time. Stop at 3 n we went back.
This is all that happen on these two days. Simple n sweet. Was hoping to go out for some walk tomorrow. Provided able to find xuan also. Time to go to bed. After long hrs of playing im really tired now...
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