Duh

Today is a holiday n yet... I BEEN STUCK AT HOME!!! Woke up ard 8pm n was having a severe headache. When to take a panadol straight n called xuan thou its already late to go out. Surprise that shes going to stay at her ah ma house n not going anywhere....(hmm i know wats going on okie?? Rem wat i said during mon night? hehe) No choice la so only can stay at home. Watch the national day parade n stil thinks that it so lame. As usual...nothing to do at home my mind will start running wild like a hungry lion outta cage. Log in to my gamie to cut down on the thinking but found out that my mind already conquered the multi tasking issue. Its stil able to run wild no matter wat or how many things im doing. Guess i was really poisoned too deep. I know i m very stubborn. In front of my frds i told them i will get over it but then my heart doesnt wanna. My heart kept lying to me that SHE will return one day thats y til now her belongings r still kept safe with me. Been thinking alot until i was idling in the game. Off it n went to sleep, com is stil on n i dun know y.....hoping that SHE will come talk to me?? Mayb but i really dun know. Been disturb by noise of Msn and i woke up n check wats goin on. It was a a mass conversation with ziwei, cat, jena, kes and seb. Didnt really join in the talking cuz i was stil half awake. Awhile later i went into game n same thing happen as before. Mind keep thinking about HER. M i really used to HER n cant get over it forever??? Been in tots for 5 solid hours n i finally decide to msg HER in friendster cuz i cant think of a way to msg. Everyone muz be thinking that i wanna beg HER to come back to me rite??? All i can say is its impossible, but on the other hand i kept lying to myself that SHE will come back to me one day. But stil its impossible i know it... oh well...i think i m kinda lost, dun know wat i m toking ler. It was sorta peace agreement to HER. I wanted to put down every grudges we used to have and like wat others said wat past is past. I know i m only drawing the line between me n HER. But stil my heart n my mind will keep having war. No matter wat i juz hope she will be doing fine lo.. As for me leh....let me die bah...let me live in the world that im stil believe one day SHE will come back. I know im stubborn but i cant help it.... One yr of Solid relationship n Love u think so easily can let go meh. If fact long ago i already told myself that SHE is the one i wanna spend my life with forever. Thats y when "together forever" was played on sat at Dbl O, i juz cried without any silly reason. Cuz this was the song that i wanna sing to her forever. But then.....reality is cruel....i dun think i have the chance anymore... Well Well..........by sending the peace agreement n typing out this blog, i really felt better. Juz praying hard that tonite there is no "Together Forever" during mambo, cuz i really dun know how to handle if the song is out.