Stil awake

Monday...Eve of National day.... superb but yet imperfect day for me. Woke up at 4pm, manage to get up early cuz i remembered today got steamboat session with roger n gang. Call roger to fix the time to meet up to shop for the foods. Then confirm Danny n Xuan about the meeting. Was meeting 5.30pm but i left home around 4.45pm. I know this time sure late le. But bo bian i gotta rush my assginment for my part time job n needa send in my resume n arrange for interviews. Got a job opportunity for me at a semi conductor company. The one i rejected last year. Cuz i needa go oversea for 4 yrs of training. At that time i got a gf n i loved HER alot so i gave up that golden opportunity. Come to think of it.... i was really stupid at that time. Cuz now then i found out that she doesnt really love me that much. So i went down there n only saw yii waiting. Lucky that she only juz arrived not that long ago. Yii told me roger is going to late too, and one more thing is xuan is not meeting us! While waiting we went to a indian coffee shop to have a drink. Orderd Teh Tarek n it was god damn sweet. Roger called n asked us to get the food first as he was on his way already. So i called danny n ask if he's joining us or if he's on his way already. At that time he sounded kinda pissed off n i found out that they quarrel again. No wonder xuan is not meeting us at Tekka Mall. She said she might be late or even not going to eat. If u really didnt come juz now i would have killed you! Haha......So we bought the food n roger came in a short while. Paid for the things n wee hopped on a cab n reached roger's hse in a very short while. Prepared the food with yii while roger is talking to his ah gong.

Surprise that xuan is the next to reach before danny. Talk to her awhile and found out that it over a small thingy again. U 2 ah..... everytime like dat de leh. Since i m so free now i dun mind being ur middle man to solve ur problems. Cuz i dun wan any of my frds ended up like me. I know u will be reading this.....haha! u 2 better buck up n give in to each other more, I cant be a middle man for too long wait people will say i so kpo for wat.

When everyone arrived we started the steamboat immediately. Everyone is so hungry by then including the late ones. Hehe.. Food was really great n the soup was damn super power. Enjoying til half xuan got a call n went far away to talk. Alrite...im not dumb n blind ok... I know sure got things cock up again. After awhile she told us that shes going to meet her mum cuz of some urgent thingys. OMG! thats the lousiest lie i ever heard. But frankly speaking.. i would rather u telling me the truth than keeping me in the dark. Im a guy who dun like frds to lied to me... tok to u at sentosa liao so u roughly know wat i want rite??? So dun be scare next time, i wun BITE la! I juz feel very unhappy about it cuz... Y cant SHE leave me alone n let me be with my frds for one day. Why muz my appointment be ruined by HER. Sat is already so bad n now monday attacked me again. I was havng the rest of te meal feeling very sad and unhappy. Luckily got cheerful roger to clear away some of my dark clouds. Planned to go devilsbar but suddenly changed our mind to go sentosa n find xuan. Reason is very simple, we dun knw wat xuan is doing down there n we dun know wat kinda of pple is she meeting. Mayb there r some Big Bad Wolf there. Danny was so worried n we decided to go down to find xuan without any early notice.

Reached there ard 2+ n found xuan very easily cuz that place is kinda small. By that time then we set our mind at ease esp danny. Xuan is only a lil bit high. Juz imagine...if we r not there she might ended up drunk n we dun dare to imagine wat would happen if there is really some bad guys among her group there. So xuan ah dun say ur bf dun care about u..in fact he really does but he doesnt know how to express it nia. I can use ur good good frd zhikai's head to bet with u ok? Reached there within 5 mins we went to buy a jug of beer. Finished it within 15 mins n i went over to ken's table to drink with ziwei n allen. I admit i was high at that time but im not drunk!!! Was having alot of fun n laughter with the mambo group. Dun even care who the fuk the next table was. Thou one guy in black with spec at the next table kept staring at me. I dun gif a fuk about him cuz at that time i was really in good mood n was enjoying. Everyone was kinda sad cuz there is no mambo but to me....i couldnt think properly le so dun even care wat shit music the dj was spinning. Took alot of photos n i muz admit that this is the first time i took so many photos at one shot. Cant post it up cuz i dun even know the camera belong to who.. hahahaha.... Dun care n juz keep taking n taking.

Music finished at 4 n part of the group left and only Cat, Danny, Roger, Yii, Irene n i was left. We decided to sit around to chat cuz stil dun wanna leave so early. Then we took a bus ride outta sentosa n was chatting with cat until everyone went off the bus n we r talking. Then yii's frd irene went off too. So left 5 of us n we decided to go Tanjong Pagar to have roti prata. I muz say it's really a big fuking damn long walk there. As we were walking, something happen to me. My mind juz dun act according to my command. i kept thinking about the past i used to have n happen that it's all thoes sweet memories with HER. I was knocking my head n keep asking my mind to stop all thoes thinking. But stil it wun listen to me. I was suffering along the way then i told yii about it. She said that i really had done my best at Sentosa so for the rest of it i need alot of time to get over it. Well....after that we reached the prata place n we ordered food..... Before eating, i heard someone shouting at me. IT WAS DENIS!!! Omg...i cannot imagine i would see him there. He joined us n we r joking like hell. Denis is alwiz the best guy at making me laugh. N he told us that he juz finished his work... i was like wow~~~ Decided to go off at 6.30am cuz everyone is very tired, including me.

Took a cab back n reached home around 7.30am. Had a nice shower and check my mails. Paid up some of my bills online cuz i juz got my pay today. Not bad la... free lance job n i got $648 for the first half month. But nvm...if i manage to pass the interviews for the job i juz applied, my life will be stable ler. I will become a engineer...woooooo nice name eh?? haha!! they say $2200 for starting pay n i think its really worth it also. But then... i have to go overseas for 4 yrs of training. Really blame myself for not accepting the job last yr cuz this time the benefits r lesser. Wanted to sleep but i cant!!! My mind start messing with me again. It keep thinking about thoes memories i used to have with HER again.... I was suffering alone this time n i knocked my head against the wall. OUCH!!! that really hurtz.... but compared to the hurtz n cracks i have in my heart, its really nothing. I really wanted to forget HER cuz i know there is no more turning back for the relationship. I know she will not come back to me anymore but y m i stil feeling so bad. I guess the only thing to save me is the job. It will take me overseas for 4 yrs n this is the chance to change myself n give myself a new start. SHE dun love me anymore dun say miss me abit so i must not continue being sad n lonely. I muz have a change in my life n forget her totally, i really wanted to but its really hard. Can someone teach me how??? These 2 weeks i already changed alot...including my drinking ability. Juz now i drank so much but im only high can see that i m inproving. Til now i stil cant sleep even thou i been blogging for some time, another reason is my mind stil spinning. But not as bad as juz now... Juz received a msg frm shirley. The ger that treated me e-33 at phuture last 2 weeks. My only reply for her is that i needa time to get over my past relationship before i can give u any answer. Pls forgive me n be patience i will try my best to give u an answer ASAP. Think now the only thing i can do is go pack up HER remaining clothes n accessories including that 3 piglets n one pig SHE name BarBar. Gotta throw them away cuz i dun wanted to be reminded of anything anymore. I m really suffering whenever im at home thats y i been going out whenever i can. Today is national day. Whoever wanna go out can call me. I will be only sleeping a few hours cuz i dun wanna miss out a holiday. Haha!!