Long Day Part II

After pondering so much, i decided to blog again. I know it will take forever to sms these all to u. I know u will drop by n read my blog. After thinking so much i stil couldnt get an answer to why u still uable to accept me. I know u doesnt have an answer too, thats y i didnt ask u anymore. All i could do is ask myself everyday. Think we shld stop all these underground relationship for the moment, i really cant lie to myself about this. We may seem close whenever we r alone, but when it comes to frds around us i will have to act like normal n there is nothing going on at all. Lets juz take sat as an example, i couldnt hold ur hand or wat. Even when walking we also have this line between us, cant even get near u.
I know wats going on between us now. I remembered i ever asked u this before. "how m i going to ans to thoes that asked about us?"
Ur reply was "We r frds lo." u may find this way ok to u, but to me...never. So i decided that we shld go back to normal like u said "friends". Doesnt mean i'm giving up on the relationship but i hope that when u r ready to accept me then we shall do what normal couples do. i wanted officially but not confidental. Its like we r hiding frm someone or something. I m already changing on my temper n i had taken good care of myself. My skin is now on the road to recovery. Guess now only if i get a job then u will return to me. One more thing i had discover, one thing i muz really do. Is to get a life of my own, so i will not be seem like alwiz clinging on u or tagging along. I knw u r getting more n more schedules in ur life, so u will not have time for me anymore. So i seriously think i need to get a life. I'm lonely n lame n everyone knows that. Hard to admit it but i have to. Well, i had said wat i wanna, time for me to go to bed........signing out.....