imkai.blogspot.com

Almost a week never update my blog le. Dun seems to be a normal me. Suddenly become so outa words. I also don't know why. Been searching for answers these few days. Other than that is sleep n play online games. Alot of things happened after that dreadful incident happened. First i lost something call Love. Then i lost friends, thats not all......i start to lost confidence n finally i lost myself. Where is the old n usual me??? My parents said that i changed....... After pondering for days then i realised that i wasn't the old me anymore. One who wasnt that happy now. One who have even bad temper than the past. One who dun care about living on anymore.

Sat is zoukout. Based on past experience mambo sux. So we decided to drink outside then go in n dance. Around 12+ david n went in first while roger n yii stil waiting for a friend. Queue made me pissed off as i was running outta oxygen soon. I hate to be in a crowd.... i will start to feel breathless n wanting to fainting. Waited for so long finally got in around 1. Mambo was good n quite surprised that sonny spinned his whole set of mambo jumbo at zoukout. After that the Rn Hip Hop was good too. Thou i said the music is good but what i m feeling inside is not the way. just before mambo ended...i lost my soul. I got no mood to dance n i just sat down n look at the stage. ZoukOut....reminded me of last yr ZoukOut when she went with me n we had some good times together...... memories just flashed back without my permission. I wanted to stop thinking but i couldn't.....i felt miserable n hoping to drown myself at sentosa.....

Struggling for some time n i guess some pple noticed my soul was gone too. I pulled it back n forced myself to dance no matter whateva shyt the Dj is spinning. Who knows... i managed to shake off everything n begin to enjoy myself.... But good thing doesnt last long....The rain came around 4+.....i walked off alone...at that point of time.....is god helping me or making fun of me????? Whenever i m sad i would like to stand in the rain.... let the rain wash away my sorrows. Everyone rushed off to find a shelter but i took a slow walk instead. Not hurrying to find a place to hide. A few sec run everyone make it to the shelter but i took at least 1 min to reach there. I was alone with alot of strangers around me...... I felt helpless... n lonely...

Later i went to other places to find roger n manage to find them. One by one met up with us later. We sat down n waited for the rain to stop....Meantime everyone is leaving sentosa.... I guess the rain really spoiled everyone's mood..... We went off ard 5 n decided to go for breakfast....... Went to the usual kopitiam near parklane.... The whole night until morning...every place i went to brought back some memories..... Should i say its happy or sad memories... I dont know..... I juz need to be alone picking up the pieces of my broken heart.