Im back

Finally i m back after 2 months of non blogging. Got myself a new blogskin cuz i felt that i changes in these 2 months too. Didnt really add much things in the sections cuz its purely for me to record down my remainding days n feelings. Maybe due to last time blogging, im used to making this page as my diary. Well... not much pple will passby here or even make the efforts to read what i have to yap. So no more shoutbox n for my links.....Sad to say.....I got no friends so nothing to fill in so might as well delete it.

These 2 months i have been locking myself up. Thou i alwiz go out to meet up with pple but itz my heart that is locked up. For thoes who care for me, im sorry. I failed u guys..... the scars on my heart is stil there and i dun intend to cure it. My heart is shattered only way i can put the pieces back is frozen it. Dun dare to be loved so dun say about loving again.

Day by day...every sec to me is still painful to me. Thou my tears doesnt flow that frequent anymore but i think it had run dryed. Im now a living dead. A walking zombie. Actve on the outside but my heart n my mind is dead. I quitted my job cuz i find no meanings in life anymore. What i want to do now is to spend my remainding days. Until the day the get to leave this sorrow land.

I'm sad but i got no one to talk to. Im so lonely but there is no one to see to. I tried my very best to go out. Even to the extend of calling some ppl everyday. Sorry if im a bother or somehow spoiled ur lovely dates. After being "AeRo"so many times i decided....this time i really need to hide myself at home not to bother anyone anymore. I know im not rich i dun have a car of my own and im a bored guys. Thats y my popularity is that worse, what can i say?? I only can accept my fate. These 2 weeks i only go out on wed or sat. Rest of my days??? Stay at home n watch my miserable 14" tv cuz my 29" spoiled! The things in my room are back in order juz like 6 months ago. Thou i have arrange the things in my room many times, in the end it will stil end up like the same in 6 months ago. Mayb i stil wanna keep some memories of the past bah.

I have nothing but hatred added with alot of sadness and despair. Most impt is regrets. I now have alot of regrets. Regrets from the past relationship. It let me back free n also made me go back to frozen mode. This time is more than double the damage n pain.

Today i went back to see my doc. He says that my psychological prob stil doent improve. Of cuz!!! i juz pay money and throw the medicine away cuz i doesnt even wanna get cured. Waste of money but my parents insisted i go back again n again. Wanted to watch chicken little yest but danny didnt called so i dun dare to call back too. Doesnt wanna impose too much trouble on him besides he got a gf who hates me. Dun put him in difficult position lo. Didnt talk to him much when i saw him on wed. But i can see that after i didnt bother him for a week, he looked happier. Maybe he started to hate me too. Mayb not??? i Dun know..... Its stil better for him to go along with the other group cuz they shared more common interest.

I m quite lost too...i dun know how much i had type. Think there isnt much for me to update cuz i was living in exile for the past 2 months. If there is anything i missed out n happen to remember, i will update it on my next entry. If not i will stil try to update everyday. Thoes who wanna read my blog u r most welcome.